The Exhale

EXHALE - To breathe out. To emit air or vapor. To blow something forth or breathe something out.

The inhales are easy, right? The frantic breathing in that actually drowns the lungs with so much oxygen, that you feel as if no air has hit them for minutes. The exhale is the hard part, because when you truly exhale you let go. And if you truly let go you become vulnerable.  PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME OR GET INTO MY SPACE! This is the sound of hundreds of muscle fibers screaming in horror. That confined feeling when nothing is even close to touching you. Eyes close to steal a moment of calm only to be overwhelmed with the feeling of someone sneaking up on you. How you crave human touch but almost vomit at the thought of it. To lean into someone, to bury your face deep into someone's neck: it's almost unbearable, but so needed. The need to feel safe is just as strong as the need to flee. A very real tug of war is taking place inside your head, your stomach, and your heart. To feel "safe" becomes a double edged sword. And what is safe? Are we ever really? Is safe just a smoke screen so that one may come in and "get the goods"? No, It has to be real right? Safe is a real word, with real meaning. And if you could just exhale you could grab on to it. For exhaling is truly the greatest feeling.